So sue me. Or, better still: buy some tickets and come see a really big shoe! I think we’re gonna have one more show in Astoria, OR. If yer interested? You know what to do.

OK, so maybe you don’t. Click here and fill out the form. You’ll get the details on tickets.

Where is Astoria, you may ask? (What is Astoria, you may ask?) Why it’s the beautiful little town off I-5. The very gateway between Washington and Oregon along the mighty Columbia River. And mere shouting distance from Portland.

Anyhoo, never say that whining over the Interwebs is pointless! As Rog and I discussed in our last rant, I can’t schedule any fly dates until the doctors figure out what is wrong with me head. (I heard that remark.) But Astoria (like Vancouver last month) is close enough to get to by land. Huzzah! And a fan in Astoria actually read our rant and has generously offered the use of a very nice venue with 75 […]

I met Prince a couple of times in a recording studio (Sound 80?) when I lived in St. Paul. Or rather, I should say, I saw him, waved and he nodded in my general direction.

He and I are… er ‘were’ about the same age so it was notable to me that basically a kid was working behind the huge, spaceship-like recording desk. And the adults were actually paying attention to him; he wasn’t just playing around.

Other than that, I paid no attention to him because at the time he was still not the guy we would come to revere. He was just a kid R&B singer with a sexy poster but not much else to distinguish him. But I do remember this:

When I asked the head recording engineer why they were all watching, he said that Prince was the only guy they had seen who could mix himself. I had no idea what he was on about, but now I know.

Almost all musicians hear the sound we want to […]

OK, I know it’s adolescent of me, but I can’t help it. I just loooooooove this thing. You gotta love it when Barbarella meets The Planets.

Although, I gotta say. This may be a close second…

Hello,

I’ve got a ‘musicologist’ question and being 30+ years out of music school, I have no idea who/how to research. So I’m carpet-bombing everyone I even vaguely know who I think might have an answer. I hope you’ll find it interesting and reply with an answer or be able to refer me to someone who does. If not, please accept my apology and ignore. There will be no follow-ups for Reverse Mortgages or Knives That Never Need Sharpening. Here’s the question:

I’m looking for some ‘scholarly research’. I want to know if anyone has done the following type of study: Mapped the average length of various types of movements or compositions by composer.

Some examples: Does Beethoven have a certain preferred length +/- 10 seconds that he uses over and over for the majority of scherzi in piano sonatas? Or do most Bach organ preludes tend to have the same length +/-10 seconds? Do Verdi arias tend to be the same length +/-10 seconds?

My suspicion is that the answer is ‘yes’. And […]

I’ve become sort of obsessed about finding the origin of the concept of testicles as being a measure of manliness; the bigger the better. The idea of ‘big balls’ implying courage and masculinity goes back a long way, but I cannot for the life of me figure out why.

I wanna know where this concept came from. I’ve heard lots of cockamamie ideas like Homer or some other classical origin, but I wanna know where and, even more importantly, why?

Look, I get the obvious intuitive association between testicles and fertility, but let’s get right to it: there is absolutely nothing ‘manly’ about testicles. Other than the reproductive function, they are not only a minor pain, but also a primary vulnerability. Women have no analogous physical …er… ‘achilles heel’.

I wonder why the penis isn’t the arbiter of manliness? But in fact, in linguistic terms, it’s just the opposite. Everyone admires the guy with biggest cojones. But who wants to be that big dick over there in the corner.

So… where did those […]