I woke up dis moanin’… W-o-o-o-h and I felt so low I had to play dat bass

Tom Waits had a great song called ‘Step Right Up’ about marketing pitches. There’s a line in there

Change your shorts. Change your life. Change yourself into a nine year old Hindu boy.

That’s how I kinda feel after 2.75 years fighting the tide. Like the great Irish warrior Cuchualain. Or maybe it’s more like one of those Labrador Retrievers that try to retrieve a brick thrown into the ocean.

But I am now officially a bass player, first and guitar player third. The reason is simple: after meeting with three hand surgeons and five physical therapists it’s clear that my thumb will never return to proper form. It works for about five minutes at a time, but after that? The stamina ends. And that makes playing full shows, either for myself or anyone else, pretty much impossible.

But after much experimentation, I’ve found that the skills one needs to play electric and upright bass are still intact. […]

Toora, loora, loora muthafuckahs.

Which kinda sums up my upbringing, if I think about it. Irish kid moves to ‘70’s Ghetto.

In Ireland, Patrick’s Day was traditionally more of a religious deal than a major blow out‘certainly there are no green rivers of beer and all that nonsense in my memory bank. I don’t really go on about Irish Culture all that much but St. Patrick was a heck of a guy and it’s worth noting who he was and what’s really all about.

Patrick was not Irish and he did nothing about the snakes because, as far as I know, Ireland never had snakes.

But Naomh Pádraigh was known for tolerance. He outlawed slavery in Ireland a thousand years before anywhere else in Europe. He also demanded equal rights for women and in fact many women were leaders of the Church in Ireland until the 10th century. These are achievements that should be better known. My guess is that the reason they are not has a […]

“Submitted for your approval…”

Jaron Lanier Speaks To Canadian Music Week

Anyone remember Rod Serling? He hosted a little show called ‘The Twilight Zone’ which started every bizzare-o episode with the above. I use it because I’ve been trying to tell people since I got started doing my little sideshow that the world the ‘Internet-Empowered’ world they think that they live in is as surreal as anything Rod ever cooked up. In fact, ‘surreal’ isn’t really the word for it because far from being merely an entertaining alternate reality — like believing in Santy and the North Pole, this illusion is specifically designed to delude, control and exploit pretty much every one of us. So perhaps the analogy I’m looking for is actually ‘The Matrix’.

As Jaron points out, the story that there are lots of indie musicians out there making tons of money through self-promotion is just a myth. It just doesn’t happen. Well, actually it does but in such small numbers as to be statistically insignificant. Pretty much every […]

The five or six of you out there who are following my recent rants on various ‘operatic’ themes know that something is up with Detroit. It ain’t like I’ve got a deep, dark secret about it. What it is, is more a matter of ‘packaging’ or rather approach.

I’ve written that, although I love opera now, the reason I didn’t love it in my youth (aside from all the fat people screaming in Italian) was that I didn’t know that it was already dead. And by ‘dead’ I mean, no longer a currently relevant art form. Oh sure, people still write operas, but people still try to finish Schubert’s Unfinished Symphony. Big deal. It doesn’t mean that these pieces have anything to say to me. This is tough talk as I know that Adams, Glass and Corigliano win all manner of fancy schmansy awards for long works about Einstein and Nixon and so on. How clever. But just between us girls? The last real opera; the one that will […]

Can you say Septoplasty?

Sure. I knew you could. I can’t right now.

But I’m thinking about little else right now having had the surgery a couple o’ days ago. How does it feel? Like I got punched in the nose, then left with straws stuck up me nose.

I’ve had nothing but problems with my snooter since I can remember. Chronic sinus infections; pneumonia; constant runny nose; even a drop in my vocal range of about 2-3 semi-tones. All these because I broke my nose a bunch o’ times in my misspent youth.

I shoulda had this done 30 years ago but frankly, when they described the ‘old’ procedure and outlined it’s 3-4 week recovery time, I just said, ‘Thanks but… er… uh… no thanks, Saddam!’ The current procedure should have me out of these straws in about a week–which is just about all I think I’ll be able to take.

The upsides?
No more chronic infections!
No more drip, drip, drip from November through May!
I may actually be able to breathe!
My singing may […]