Rants By Topic

Posts concerning my health. Or lack thereof.

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Earplugs

02.9.2020

Culture, Health Issues, Music Appreciation

A new Angry Love Song! So Much To Justify. The Mood Ring returns. Rainbow Randolph. Creativity comes in all sizes. Not repeating yourself. Snatch. You’ll have to speak louder than that. Ear plugs. New ‘Rawk’. Reference mixes for the deaf. Velvet Revolver. Slither. Outrageous French accents. Terry Jones and the Mouse Organ (RIP). Hearing loss: it can even strike classical players! Blame those really loud brass players. And Wagner.

RCWow. More new music.

So Much To Justify

JCHYep. Whaddaya think?

RCWell, if I use the all knowing Mood Ring, it’s a classic ‘Angry Love Song’.

JCHTouché Actually, I was thinking just that when I was working on it. And then it hit me? I DON’T CARE ANYMORE! Which is a big step for me. (laughs)

RCBig step? How so?

JCHWell, in the past, believe it or not I’ve always tried really, really, really, really, really, really…

RCReally?

[…]

Bodybuilding

12.16.2018

Culture, Health Issues, The Boats

We gotta add another year. Another little black dog from hell. Another voice change. Botox and Mister Ed. What’s next? Bodybuilding. We need a montage. War Of The Gargantuas. Ella Mai-Boo’d Up as metaphor for a new generation. Goodbye permanence! Goodbye tradition! Merry Christmas! JC hates meme generators.

Roger CortonIt’s been a while. How you been? Merry Christmas.

JCHMerry Christmas to you! I’m as good as I can be. Et vous?

RCGood. Good. Everything’s good. I always get a little nervous when I don’t hear from you for a while.

JCHWell this time, it’s been more a dog than me. I decided to do one last dog rescue and…

RCAnd?

JCHAnd I got THE LITTLE BLACK DOG FROM HELL!

RCYou got another Gus?

JCHNot exactly. I drove across the state to save this little shit and blew an engine. And that was just the beginning. He’s had over $3,000 just for an ear infection.

RCAn […]

Health Care

05.17.2017

Health Issues, Music Appreciation, Songs, Videos

Health Care. Marcel Duchamp and toilets. Postmodern. Andy Warhol and Campbell Soup Cans. Making a statement and William Carlos Williams. Strategery. Son House. Brazil. Trump. It’s complicated. Who knew?

Roger CortonSo last time we talked about how hard it is writing great lyrics. And in fact you said “there is almost nothing I seem to hate worse in life than lyrics”.

JCHCorrect.

RCWhat with all the recent chaos we haven’t spent much time talking up your new album Progress. I think this is a chance to kill two birds with one stone; talk up a song and dive more into lyrics.

JCHYou’re so manly when you’re take charge.

RCI noticed something odd when I listened to my Progress CD of ‘Health Care’. The ‘raps’ aren’t the same as on this video.

JCHCorrect.

RCI assume that’s intentional?

JCHCorrect.

RCYou’re going to stop doing that soon, right?

JCHRight […]

An Out Of Body Experience

10.14.2015

Health Issues

Sick days so not much real news. Things you never knew about your sinuses. Total Recall.

Roger CortonSo you were sick last week?

JCHI still get these congestion things.

RCI thought the surgery fixed all that years ago?

JCH(Raucous laughter)

RCAnd there’s nothing to be done?

JCHNot really. Now after I had the surgery I’d go to the ENT guy and he pulls out this monstrous snake and put like eight inches up yer snoot. It just doesn’t seem possible. And then literally four or five or even six ounces of green goop sucks out into this accordion glass collector you…

RCSTOP!

JCHNo, it’s great. It feels great. I tell ya, what I want is the home version of that Total Recall gizmo. You know, where he says “Push real hard!”

RCI know exactly what you’re […]

A Non-Partisan Political Message On Meningitis

10.12.2012

Culture, Health Issues

I’m against it.

As a kid, I spent almost two years in a hospital after coming down with this illness.

There are different varieties—and newer treatments are about 1,000% better than back in the old country. But just ask the fourteen people who’ve died: it’s no joke.

The irony for me is that I was left with a post-recovery arthritis that has made me just the kind of guy who buys those kinds of injections three or four times a year.

But I don’t do them. Because they don’t work. Or rather, they can work, for a short period. See the injections themselves are pretty controversial. There’s a huge placebo affect. And you’re getting an injection millimeters away from yer spinal fluid—which you really want to stay as far away from as possible. But there are a lot of ‘boomers’ these days with a lot of aches and pains… and spare cash. And doctors convinced that this sort of thing is ‘routine’.

My point is this: apparently the places that make a lot […]