Rants By Topic

Music Appreciation

Lyrics Are Hard

05.9.2017

Writing good lyrics is really hard. Yesterday and Scrambled Eggs. Talking Heads and cleaning. Bad lyrics are what killed Progressive Rock. Phonemes, Siberian Khatru and abstraction. Love Beach is a terrible lyric. But What A Wonderful World is a great lyric. Obituaries.

Roger CortonYou mentioned in last week’s marathon that you were working what you called ‘the connective tissue’ of The Boats.

JCHYes and that means words. Lyrics. And there is almost nothing I seem to hate worse in life than lyrics.

RCReally?

JCHYes. OK, I’m going to swing the camera around for a second. Notice anything?

RCWhat am I supposed to notice?

JCHI’m a bachelor pushing sixty. That should be your first clue. How does the place look?

RCClean?

JCHTOO clean. The place is fucking immaculate. That should tell you something.

RCTell me what?

JCHThat I’m engaging in almost constant task avoidance. When I’m cleaning? That means I’m doing ‘busy work’ […]

Dance Like No One’s Watching

03.7.2017

Hmmm..., Music Appreciation

Just don’t do it in front of me!

Look, everyone (at least everyone on PBS) espouses that lack of self-consciousness. But they don’t really mean it. Not really. Because we all know that if you actually start doing anything like no one’s watching–and someone’s watching? The men in the white coats are surely on the way.

So for most people, that line is just another phrase like “Speak your mind!” and “Don’t sweat the small stuff!”; nice thoughts that show up on cheap greeting cards, but no one expects (or even desire) people to actually do.

But still. What does one do if your job actually depends on living with that lack of self-consciousness?

As Rog and I were discussing […]

What Do You Do All Day? (Self-Consciousness Part I)

03.2.2017

Culture, Music Appreciation

Self-consciousness. You Can’t Take It With You. Frank Capra. Lawrence Of Arabia. Masturbation (again) vs. Composing.

Roger CortonWe’re once again in that in-between time.

JCHYou mean all those months and years when people wonder what the hell I actually (cough) ‘do’ all day?

RCWhat do you do all day?

JCHYa know that kills me. Because every woman I’ve ever been with who was not married to me wonders exactly the same thing. And I’ve decided that it’s one of those great big lies that people tell in order to get along with one another.

RCWhat great big lies? He said, not really wanting the answer.

JCHA couple come to mind. The first is, like I said, “What do you do all day?” People with ‘normal’ jobs simply don’t ‘get’ how much work this so-called career is. I’m not whining.

RCIt sounds like whining.

JCHIt’s not whining. I’m just saying that it’s one of those deals that […]

Greg Lake

01.27.2017

Music Appreciation, Progressive Rock

I was on a plane recently, listening to the Emerson Lake & Palmer album ‘Trilogy’ as the miles flew by. If you’re a progressive rock fan–or even just a ‘classic rock’ fan–it can actually be hard to listen to such a chestnut as this. It’s like listening to Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony for classical music lovers. Some tunes are so familiar that we can’t even really hear them anymore. Or even worse? They sound almost cloying.

But ironically, there’s a reason we get so jaded, right? They wouldn’t be ‘classics’ if they hadn’t deserved enough listens to wear out the grooves in the first place. However if one does make the effort to hear a piece with fresh ears, the rewards can be phenomenal. (The advantage that classical music has over progressive rock is that we can get a fresh perspective simply by listening to another version of Beethoven.)

Anyhoo, I listened to the outro solo on “From The Beginning”, which starts with a one-pitch bass fill. It’s just […]

A Professional Musician Comments On Our National Anthem

01.22.2017

Culture, Music Appreciation

Jackie Envancho Sings The National Anthem At The Trump Inauguration

“So JC, as a professional musician, I’d like to get your opinion of the gal who sang the national anthem during the inauguration today?”

I’m glad you asked. From one POV, it was completely appropriate: both gaudy and over the top.

“That seems a bit harsh. Can you give me a specific example?”

Sure. Take the long note on the word ‘free’ in the last stanza. It’s sung on the fifth note of the scale. But whenever you hear the singer use that as a springboard to jump up to the tonic (4 steps higher)? 9 times out of 10 they’ve jumped the shark.

Now if yer in the band, you’ll explicitly wonder, “Is she going to GO FOR IT?”… meaning, is she going to try that show-off maneuver. And speaking frankly? We’re kinda hoping for a truly ‘epic fail’. It helps us maintain attention.

But of course the audience also unconsciously wonders exactly the same thing–in the same way that people at a NASCAR race will secretly wonder if the driver is about to hit the wall going into the final hair-raising turn. Or maybe it’s like being at a Greek party in college and you’re encouraging some poor fool to CHUG-A-LUG, CHUG-A-LUG that whole quart of beer. Total schadenfreude. If yer human, down deep, you cannot help but root for the flaming crash. A part of you wants the singer to have a complete humiliation for having the GALL to attempt such tasteless showboating. As the ancient Greek gods punished anyone with hubris.

“Yes, but she didn’t crash and burn. She hit that note pretty clean, didn’t she?”

Point taken. However, this is not the Magic Flute and she is not playing Queen Of The Night. Whether you hit that note or not, irrelevant. The moment you try, you’re guilty of high crimes.

“Why?”

Like I said… because the moment you engage in any gymnastics like that? You’re saying to the audience, “Look at me!” and taking attention away from the song. And in this case, when people are supposed to be engaged in the most profound reverie about their nation and the transfer of power? Making it about you is musical malpractice.

“Thanks for setting me straight.”

That’s what I’m here for.